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I’ve always felt slightly sorry for left-​handed Nazis.

— Kavey, on the problems of wrong-handed saluting.

Submitted by Matt Gibson (gothick) on 15 Nov 2011
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I do not have sem­tex tits.

— I had my TENS machine on. On going out to lunch, took machine off and hid leads in my bra so didn't look like a suicide bomber! The conversation went on from there...

Submitted by Kavita Favelle (Kavey) on 7 Nov 2011
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Do they have some new breed of calm bon­sai swan I’ve not pre­vi­ously encountered?

— Erm. A conversation in Baristas with someone heading off to feed the swans. Can't remember how they described them to prompt my response, though.

Submitted by Matt Gibson (gothick) on 14 Jun 2011
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Also, the dan­ger of unreg­u­lated ukulele-​playing in the Low Coun­tries now abated.

— As said on Twitter by Neil Gaiman, after the release of his wife by the Dutch police.

Submitted by Matt Gibson (gothick) on 11 May 2011
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I’ve got out my meta bunting.

— Benjohn, discussing alternatives to the Royal Wedding on Twitter (http://twitter.com/benjohnbarnes/status/63875596471644160)

Submitted by Matt Gibson (gothick) on 29 Apr 2011
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